Wednesday, June 13, 2007

day 555::time to go home

i'm feeling a bit tired these days.
see what i mean....
the backpack seems to be getting heavier every day, and the clothes in them are hanging by a string.
i've seen so much the past 18 months, maybe too much. cities and towns i've been to are blending together, and the excitement of arriving in a new place is not as strong.
most of the world will remember me this way - armed and loaded and trigger happy.
the trains, planes, and especially bus rides are getting longer and longer. i'm craving my own bed, a dependable hot shower, and clothing with less than five holes in it. i guess i miss the comforts of home. i'm sitting here thinking about it all, and realizing the thing i miss most are my family, friends, and my dog. along the same vein, i think the thing i will remember the most is not the places i've been, but the people i've met. from the cunning shopkeepers and con artists, to the people offering food, tea, or a ride when i was stranded. from exponentially multiplying crowds of china and india, to the small villages with no electricity. from the people wanting to talk to me to practice their english, to all those i communicated with through a system of hand gestures, head nods, and begging eyes. i'll remember those who did a double take squeam when they found out i was american, to those who realized that all governments are full of crap. i enjoyed learning and experiencing their way of life, different from the west, yet with the same basic needs and cravings that are similar to all human beings. i will always remember the many hugs and kisses of strangers who i can now call friends..........and of course i'll always remember the indian lady with 2 babies who wanted to ((marry me)), after getting to know me for only 10 minutes.......i'll remember her, but don't think i'll miss her.
....hey thea, remember this girl to my right? this shot was taken an hour before we all got sick from too much vino tinto.
but i'm tired and it's time to go home.......plus i'm running out of money.
exhausted by one too many muslim prayer calls at 5 am......and don't ask me what my hands are doing. i'm not even sure.
however i have no right to complain. i've seen more than most people will ever see in a lifetime. experienced more than i could have ever imagined. but us human beings are funny, finicky creatures. we always want more, and yearn for things we don't have - after all, the grass is always greener on the other side. for me in this case, it's living in a home, not out of a backpack.
i feel excited to return, to catch up with loved ones, to share some of my experiences, and hear about everything i missed back home. i am really really, excited to catch up with my nephews, including the newbie that i've never met. on the other hand, i'm a bit frightened about getting back to the american way of living, which seems a bit foreign to me right now. i'm afraid of getting back to the hustle and bustle of a regular 9 to 5 life, and not taking the time to enjoy just plain living, a quality that seems to come naturally while on the road. hopefully i can carry a bit of that into my daily life. not sure about what the future holds......but i think maybe it's better that way. i'm also starting to feel a bit sad. i'm not sure of what specifically, but maybe a bunch of things. there's something free and liberating about being so far away. sad at the thought of no longer living the adventure of living without a plan. once i'm home and looking at photos, i think i'll realize all that i've absorbed on this trip. and maybe then i'll feel really sad and nostalgic.......stupid jerky human emotions........so i guess i am a cacophony of mixed emotional aneuyrismic spasms.reuniting in barcelona with friends i made on a camel trip in the indian desert. they're very spanish, which means mucho carne para comidas.
but yes, right now, i am travel weary, craving a certain amount of stability, and ready to return home......but being the finicky human creature that i am, i know after one month of home life, i'll crave jumping on a plane to explore foreign lands once again. i'm just glad this world has so much to offer that you can't see everything in even five lifetimes.
and finally........the last photo of about 20,000 photos taken on this trip. the iglesia in sitges, a mediterranean town just south of barcelona.
but actually, my travels aren't finished. i'll still be travelling the states for the next month visiting family, friends,.....and also, i have a feeling that in the states, i can finally find out...... Dónde está Ché Pelotas?

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